This is my favorite picture of Mac, our family dog, and me. The picture was taken in 2011, shortly before I left for my freshman year in college. Mac, who was an Australian cattle dog, passed away in September 2014 and we miss him very much still. He was very sweet and gentle, and he loved everyone he met.
We adopted him in 2009 at the age of 4. He was deaf, and had passed through several different homes, an animal shelter, and a humane society before we discovered him. We were told that he passed through so many homes because his previous owners did not know how to train a deaf dog and found it too burdensome. After we adopted him, he quickly became devoted to us and adopted us as his "pack." We didn’t find him to be a burden or difficult to train. He always watched us for cues and directions.
We've had a number of dogs while I was growing up, but for some reason my mom and I both found that his death seemed to be more heartbreaking than the others. Don't get me wrong, I've loved all my dogs equally and with all my heart, but this time seemed to be different. This had to do with one of Mac's habits, I believe. Because Mac was deaf, he was always watching. He would follow us from room to room to check in with everyone in the family, otherwise, he could not be aware of what was going on. He also watched our faces and was highly attuned to our facial expressions. He knew when we were happy or upset, and, when we were upset, he would force himself on us until we cheered up.
I recently read a study about dogs that may have answered my question about my grief for Mac. The researchers found that dogs and their humans release oxytocin, a hormone that known as the “cuddle hormone” and is responsible for bonding between mothers and children, when they look at each other in the eyes. To compensate for his deafness, Mac would look us right in the eyes to read our moods. Mac, I realized, watched us more than any of our other dogs had, and I realized, this may have been a logical reason for my elevated grief.
I learned a lot from Mac over the course of his time with us. Although he could not experience sound, he had just as enriching of an experience through his eyes. Because of his watching, we developed a bond with him that was so strong we didn't realize it until he was gone. This taught me that even though some animals have physical limitations, they can have lives that are just as enriching for them and you. I also realize that I should remember him as he was in that picture from 2011 right before I went to college. I know that if he saw me grieving for him now, he would jump on me and act like a goofball until I cheered up. Recently, we adopted another deaf Australian cattle dog named Rosie. I think Mac would be a little jealous, too.