Mount Vernon — Mary M. Stanges, 92, who worked as an executive secretary at the Pentagon, and was a volunteer at Mt. Vernon Hospital, died July 20, 2012 at her home in Hollin Hills, south of Alexandria, after a long illness (non-Hodgkins lymphoma). Her husband of 64 years, Julius T. Stanges, died in 2005.
Mrs. Stanges retired from the Defense Department in 1984 after 22 years of exemplary service. She worked first for the Air Force Chief of Staff and later in the Office of the Secretary of Defense.
Mrs. Stanges was a third generation Washingtonian of German-Irish descent. She grew up in the Lincoln Park area of D.C. where her father had a home-based dental practice. She graduated from the former St. Cecilia’s Academy on East Capitol Street and met her future husband, Julius, while he was attending Catholic University. They were married in Kingston, Jamaica in 1941. She lived in Oakland, Calif. and worked for Bell Telephone during WWII, while her husband served aboard a Coast Guard cargo ship in the Pacific.
Mrs. Stanges was stricken with polio at age 8 and regained her strength and balance by rollerskating. The ordeal of her recovery shaped a fiercely self-reliant and tough-minded personality. When, at age 88, falling oak trees demolished the front section of her house and forced her out, she undertook a yearlong rebuilding project to reoccupy and live out her remaining years at home. She was grateful for having a close circle of longtime caring friends and neighbors who helped her age in place. The same house was her home for 62 years and there she found the solace and serenity of a country villa within a friendly, vibrant community. She was a creative gardener and a familiar figure in her front yard on busy Stafford Road. The location was a welcoming venue for meeting and greeting passersby while she went about designing and planting new flowerbeds. She imagined the street as her “Rue de la Paix” and enjoyed evenings on her front terrace raising a glass of wine and watching the neighbors walk by with their children and dogs.
Mrs. Stanges is remembered as an original resident of Hollin Hills who loved the natural setting and open environment of the mid-century modern community. She proclaimed the renowned liberal enclave was teeming with colorful characters and she was proud to be counted among the supporting cast. During the 1980s, she was a community activist and leading advocate for saving the local area oak trees from gypsy moth infestation. Fairfax County responded with aerial spraying until the trees were safe from harm. She enjoyed chasing deer from her gardens but left the fox, coyote and raccoons to roam free. She spent much of her time tending to her gardens, caring for her home and serving with the Wednesday group of volunteers at nearby Mount Vernon Hospital. Her other interests included a love of opera, classical music and books, especially by authors Edith Wharton, Louis Auchincloss and Michael Dirda. She and her husband Julius served in the Washington Opera Guild and they performed as supernumeraries in many productions.
Mrs. Stanges and her husband were long-time parishioners of St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Old Town Alexandria. They had many close friendships with fellow parishioners who shared their interest in sacred music and artwork. During her working years and after retirement, she and Julius traveled throughout Europe and soon discovered the Adriatic island of Hvar, Croatia, where they spent 25 happy summers. Their last holiday in 1991 ended abruptly when they were evacuated ahead of fighting at the beginning of the Bosnian War. They never returned.
Mrs. Stanges was a child of the Great Depression and lean times yet was fascinated by the lifestyle and stories of the Gilded Age and Progressive Era. She appreciated understated fashion and was noted for wearing her signature black beret with a silk scarf for a splash of color whenever she went out. She loved to laugh and tease and inherited a touch of the Irish blarney as well as a strong sense of German propriety. She had great affection for her gardeners and housekeeper, whom she embraced as family and kindly shared sage advice on life. She had a sharp wit and a quirky sense of humor. She enjoyed exchanging good-natured barbs with her boys, followed with a grin and a sharp punch in the stomach. She was barely 100 lbs. yet she could knock the wind out of a grown man.
Survivors include two sons, Michael (Milly) Stanges of McLean, and Thomas (Kristin) Stanges of Columbia, Md.; a sister, Helen Brady of Majorca, Spain, and two brothers, Dr. John McVeigh, of Gig Harbor, Wash., and William McVeigh of Arlington; and many other relatives and friends.