Beth and Michael Belle go to Arlington National Cemetery every Sunday to spend time with their son, Nicholas Belle, 21. He died in Afghanistan on Mother’s Day in 2005, but his memory is living on through his family and their endless support for the families of so many other fallen soldiers.
The Belles, who live in Fairfax, fell into their Sunday ritual at Arlington because they wanted to spend time with Nicholas whenever they had the time. They visit Section 60, the area where he and hundreds of other fallen soldiers from military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, are buried. The area of the cemetery is quiet, but it’s almost never empty, said Beth Belle. The couple noticed many other families visiting graves around the same time they were visiting Nicholas’. The families began talking to each other, and found a level of comfort and support that others can’t always provide.
"People want to help, but there’s really nothing they can do," said Beth Belle. "[Section 60] gives you someone that you can connect with that you know truly understands what you’re feeling."
The families started to get to know each other, and they eventually starting setting up a meeting time at the cemetery. Beth Belle sees the others from her son’s grave, and she gets up and walks around to say hello and talk to people. That’s when a producer from PBS who was in Section 60 noticed Beth Belle walking around and hugging some of the other families.
Karen Baratz, spokeswoman for the National Memorial Day Concert that PBS is broadcasting, said the producer approached the Belles on Valentine’s Day to see if they would be interested in sharing their story as part of the concert. She told him about the other families who meet there on Sundays, and now the story of the Sunday support group will also be included in the program.
"They’ve taken a tragedy and turned it around into something positive," said Baratz. "This informal support group has become a part of their routine."
BETH BELLE SAID she’s happy to have so many people who understand what it’s like to lose a loved one to war. Families often have to pretend that they’re doing better than they really are, she said. But the families at Section 60 can just be honest with each other.
"You really have to become a good actor at times. People don’t want you to be sad … because it’s uncomfortable," said Beth Belle. "At Section 60, we don’t have to pretend. We can sit down and we can say, ‘I’m having a really bad day’."
The families usually talk about how they’re holding up from week to week. Some weeks are better than others, said Beth Belle, so it’s necessary to have that safety net of support. A lot of what they discuss has to do with honoring their sons and daughters. The group then realized they should try to organize something a little more formal.
"You don’t want [people] to step in your shoes, because you don’t want anyone to feel this pain," said Beth Belle. "The people at Arlington are walking in your shoes."
THE GROUP ALSO wanted to find a place to gather, especially in the winter when sitting outside in Section 60 can be bitter cold. Gina Barnhurst, a mother from Maryland whose son, Eric, is also buried in Section 60, organized the first official meeting this past April.
"We had name tags, but we didn’t need them because we all already knew each other," said Beth Belle.
Cemetery officials decided to donate space at the Women’s Memorial to the group every other Sunday, at 2 p.m. That way, they can have an indoor gathering place to meet and talk to each other, and also a place to greet new family members. As part of the PBS special, Academy Award-winning actress, Diane Wiest, will read excerpts of Barnhurst’s letters to her son.
"We want to put it out there," said Beth Belle. "We want families to know there is a place for them to find comfort."
The Belles last saw Nicholas in October 2004. When he visited, he brought up the subject of death and the war — something Beth Belle said he wanted to talk about just in case something happened to him. The military tries to prepare the families by telling the soldiers to talk with them about it, but nothing prepares you for it, she said.
"He was supposed to come home after a seven-month deployment, but they extended it to eight months," said Beth Belle. "He had run over 100 missions and this was his last one; he was killed three weeks shy of coming home."
The Belles grieve and miss their son every day, but the support at Section 60 is something they will never forget. They have even stepped in as caretakers of some of the graves that aren’t visited very often, if at all. They put flowers there and try to remember each and every person that lost their lives for America.