A panel of 10 Westfield High seniors recently gave parents the lowdown on teen drinking, drug use and parties during an evening educational program called "Saturday Night in the Suburbs."
What the students said was eye-opening, and they also gave some advice to the parents.
"Make sure your kids know what they can and can't do — and that you still love them," said Frank Hagan-Brown. Added Lorenza Coffin: "If you can be honest about drinking, they'll be more comfortable talking about it with you."
The school PTSA and the Westfield Community Coalition sponsored the event, and Westfield subschool principal Holly Messinger addressed the parents at the start of the presentation.
"What's happening here are the same things that are happening across the state and the nation," she said. "The [student panelists] are not necessarily participants — they're just sharing information about what they know is happening in the community. And not everything they'll talk about is happening at Westfield."
The moderator was Doug Wetzel, sports editor of the school paper, the Watchdog, and president of the National Honor Society. The other panelists included: Megan Woodworth, senior class senator and SGA member; Kristen Strunk, SAC and SGA officer; MaryLynne Schaefer, who'll attend the University of Hartford on a basketball scholarship; and Sarah Berry, a JMU hopeful and a Watchdog writer.
Also on the panel were: Eric Poppe, a varsity wrestler headed for Virginia Tech; Daniel Jeong, Honor Society member and DECA vice president; Lorenza Coffin, who'll major in mechanical and aeronautical engineering in college; Frank Hagan-Brown, yearbook editor and French Honor Society president; and Sparkle Williams, Watchdog editor-in-chief and prom committee member.
When Doug asked if alcohol is a problem at Westfield, all the panelists said yes. "Is drinking limited to the weekends?" he asked. "I don't think so," replied Daniel. "Actually, it's pretty common for kids without parents after school to go home and drink."
"For some students, the weekend starts on Thursday," said Megan. "And I've heard instances where people bring [alcohol] to school and drink before class." Kristen said students "also drink at games, but it's hard for administrators to single them out."
DOUG ASKED how students can be prevented from drinking and driving. "Some designate drivers," said Eric. "Usually, they're pretty responsible." Sparkle said having "an open line of communication with your children will help so they know they can call you."
Sarah said most of the people she knows are "pretty good about not driving drunk." But Megan disagreed. "A lot of kids think they're invincible — 'I had a few beers; I'll be fine behind the wheel.' That's why kids need to know they can call their parents [for help] and not be grounded for the rest of their lives, instead of trying to risk driving so they don't get in trouble."
"Are high-school students aware of the danger of alcohol poisoning?" asked Doug. "They know, but don't act upon it all the time," said Lorenza. Furthermore, Megan warned the parents, "You may think that having your kids in honors classes, so they'll be around good kids, will prevent them from drinking. Some of the smartest kids, who get the best grades and are going to the best colleges, drink."
Doug asked if the workload of AP classes causes students to drink, and Sparkle said it leads some students to take ritalin. "People are stressed and feel there's not enough time in the day, so they use that," she said. "Give kids alternatives — sports and activities."
A mom in the audience asked what's the most popular drink among students. Doug replied that some male students have made and worn T-shirts saying "BPL" for Beer Pong League. He also noted that vodka's popular because its clear color makes it undetectable when mixed with cranberry or orange juice.
A dad asked how prevalent are fake IDs among students, and Kristen answered, "For every group of kids, at least one person has fake IDs. You can get them in Georgetown, but they won't work in all places and they're detected at some clubs."
Besides that, said Sparkle, "There are parents and older siblings who'll buy liquor for students, so you need to worry about that, too."
Nancy Campbell, Westfield Community Coalition president, asked where most kids get their liquor. "From siblings, friends, parents' liquor cabinets and fake IDs," said Eric. "And shoulder tapping — kids at a 7-Eleven or other store tap someone, 21, on the shoulder and ask them to buy them beer. A lot of kids get liquor this way."
"What can we do about parents who allow their children to drink at home?" asked a parent. And Sparkle warned them that "parents can get into a lot of trouble if someone leaves their house drunk and gets into an accident."
A DAD asked if it's cool to be a nondrinker at a party, and Sparkle said they're respected, but ignored. "A lot of people respect athletes who don't drink," added Kristen. "At a party, maybe half the people don't drink, and they still have fun."
"As kids get older, they realize they don't have to be the ones making fools of themselves at a party, getting wasted," said Megan. "Your kids aren't gonna be losers if they don't drink; it's their choice."
"Kids don't force it on each other," said Doug. "But it's like, 'Everyone else is drinking, why don't I?'" However, said Lorenza, "I don't drink and I let freshmen know you don't have to get caught up in drinking. It's not worth it; it's not what you think it is."
Eric said students grow up and mature a lot during high school. "You realize who you are and what you want to be committed to — for example, wrestling, yearbook, newspaper, etc." Sparkle said parents also "have to make sure [their] kids feel good about themselves."
"A lot of parents think they're cool if they let their kids drink with them," said Megan. "But in all honesty, I wouldn't respect my mom as much if she had a beer with me." Surprised at what he was hearing, Chantilly Chick-Fil-A owner Richard Jarrell — who provided refreshments for the event — said, "When I was a kid, I never saw parents condoning alcohol use in their home."
But, Megan told the parents, "When you're out of town, your kids are having a party — and it's at your house. They've been looking forward to it all week." Added Kristen: "Kids have Caller ID, and they have the other kids be quiet when the parents call. They tell everyone to park down the street, and they turn off the lights [in the house so neighbors don't know what's going on inside]."
So, said Sparkle, "Instill the fear of God in them!" Lorenza said kids should find good role models at an early age "because he'll want to do the things he does." Frank said seniors "have a big responsibility" toward younger students in this respect.
Sparkle said parents should tell their children about kids "who've drank and driven and killed their best friends." After all, said Doug, "There are 3,000 kids here at Westfield, and the ones that are drinking and speeding are the ones the other kids hear about."