By the end of the day, Sean Delean was one of the broken ones. In front of his peers, the Marshall senior apologized for all the inconsiderate words and jabs he might have said throughout high school. With defenses down, he hugged the same students he might have ignored or teased only a week before.
"My goal now is to make sure that I'm more loving towards people," said Sean, humbled after participating in a daylong workshop that promoted community at Marshall High School.
That workshop, Challenge Day, aimed to dissolve the barriers and perceptions students have set up against themselves. The March 23 Challenge Day focused on creating a community within the student body by discovering the commonalties that help students relate to one another.
"We want students to develop compassion and empathy for one another, so that we can build a strong community at the high school," said Marshall principal Leslie Butz. "If students feel a sense of belonging, then that's going to make a healthier environment for them to develop."
ABOUT 110 students from all grades participated in Challenge Day, as well as several teachers, administrators and parents from the Marshall community.
Developed in 1987 in California, Challenge Day was created by Rich Dutra-St. John, a former high-school teacher and drug counselor, and Dutra's wife. Dutra saw the issues of loneliness and hurt as causes for a lot of the problems that teenagers were facing.
"What happens is in school, kids are coming and dealing with so many emotions, said Dutra, who was one of Marshall's facilitators that day. "If they don't have anyone safe to talk to, they can't think clearly. If they can feel safe, they'll be excited to come to school."
At Marshall, as in other area high schools, students encounter cliques, bullies and other distractions that prevent students from understanding one another. Those barriers, as well as the daily activities of schoolwork, sports and other extracurricular activities, can help maintain those barriers among the student body.
"What pains me is that kids see you as an adult. Even though you might break that wall, I watch kids go out of the office and zip up their armor," said Robyn Lady, a former guidance counselor at Marshall, who now works at Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology.
Rani Hawes, an assistant principal, brought Challenge Day to Marshall, after hearing about its success at nearby Oakton High School, the first high school in the area to host the daylong series of team-building activities.
"By opening up and talking, students confront the issues in a nonviolent manner that promotes community," Hawes said.
To confront stereotypes, the day began with ice-breaker activities aimed at helping students grow comfortable with one another. They were divided into smaller groups with other students they didn't know as well.
Sophomore Lilly Ware Dunn of Vienna eventually was paired up with a female student she had never talked to before. They told each other stories about themselves.
"I really liked the way we paired up," Lilly said. "It's really cool that I got to know her on an intimate, more personal level."
The most revealing and personal exercise took place as soon as the students felt more relaxed. In "The Power Shuffle," students were told to cross a line when the lead facilitators asked questions such as who was a child of divorced parents, if they knew someone who had an abortion or was adopted, if someone ever called them stupid, or if they had ever thought about killing themselves.
"We can look through the eyes of love and respect, or we can look through the eyes of separation," said one of Challenge Day's facilitators during an activity.
BY SEEING the numbers of students who had crossed the line with them, students could see that they weren't alone in facing the issues they attempt to hide.
"Everyone's the same, and you should just love one another," said sophomore Porsha Stackhouse of Falls Church.
When asked what she had learned about herself during Challenge Day, she said, "I'm going to love. I'm not going to criticize."
Fellow sophomore Sabrina Wilbern of Vienna agreed. "I learned that I'm not the only one going through this stuff," she said. "We have to stand up for what's right."
After the power shuffle, students affirmed each other by apologizing publicly for any hurtful actions they had done or by telling each other what the day had meant to them. They were handed a microphone as they confessed, some with tears in their eyes or with shaking voices. The others who listened to them held up their hands to show their solidarity.
"I really went into this thinking I could do everything by myself," said Lilly. "I see now that there's always going to be help out there."
At the close of Challenge Day, students circled the gymnasium, hugging other students who had otherwise been strangers only hours before.
"A lot of students do not allow themselves to feel. They don't give themselves the opportunity to see who they are," said math teacher Jennifer Veazey, one of the adults participating in the workshop. "They're lost in life. Maybe it's a relationship with a parent, with their friend, or with the way they see themselves. Those issues have a tremendous effect on how they see themselves.
"I hope these students bring their smiles and their freedom to the hallways and to other classes," Veazey said.
As the students departed, they vowed to follow Challenge Day's motto of "being the change," by being open to communication, greeting each other in the hallways, or by sitting with someone who is alone in the lunchroom.
Right after Challenge Day ended, a group of students went to one teacher's classroom to apologize for calling the teacher “old.”
"We're all the same when we turn out the lights. Everybody really tried hard today, and everyone really felt for each other," said Sheila Diamond, a senior from Vienna.