If parents of high school students in this area aren't informed about what's going on with their children lately, they haven't been taking advantage of the many summits and seminars that have been held in the past few weeks, all of which were designed to give parents more information about alcohol and drug use, gangs, bullying and teen solutions.
About 50 parents attended a West Potomac PTSA meeting at the beginning of May where speakers spoke about The Empower Program, the Landmark Forum for Teens and Nar-Anon.
The first speakers for that meeting were Betsey Purcell and Kristin Frank, who spoke about The Empower Program.
This powerful new program is based on the book called "Queen Bees and Wannabes" written by Rosalind Wiseman. The program has a variety of classes which focus on ending gender-based violence. It is designed to teach young people how they can be leaders in preventing violence.
"We find that students who participate get a lot out of it. It's not a program to address bullies; it's a way to end violence among youth. It helps students to take an inward look at themselves," Purcell said.
After a short introduction, Frank and Purcell asked the audience to divide into groups of two and talk about their recollection about being harassed when they were younger.
They then asked the audience to talk about their idea of the popular and not so popular girl and boy.
Frank spoke about the line that is drawn between the insiders and outsiders, and invited the audience to talk about what you gain and lose within each circle. Students on the inside gain popularity, friends, status and self-confidence, while they lose values, individuality, ability to choose and ability to fail.
Outsiders gain real friends, independence, choices, sense of identity and maturity, but risk being lonely, ostracized and bullied. Frank suggested that the best alternative is to blur the line so that students can go between groups without pressure.
THE HOUR OR SO presentation by Frank and Purcell was set up by Laura Jernigan and intended to be just an overview. Jernigan said that when West Potomac PTSA President Phoebe Mix first showed her the book, "Queen Bees and Wannabes," she knew it was a book she wanted in her personal library.
"Later that day I went out and bought a copy and I knew as I began to read it that I wanted the Empower Program [founded by the author] to come to West Potomac High School. The truth conveyed within it's pages was clear. The book and the work that The Empower Program does in communities nationwide are invaluable to us as parents and also to the teens in our lives and the communities we live in," Jernigan said.
"Most of us can remember how complex and stressful our lives were in High School. This book offers the insights and tools to help bring about change, positive change for all of us. We have all experienced the hurt and discomfort of being excluded and talked about behind our backs.
"The teen movie, "Mean Girls," currently in area theaters, is based on Rosalind's book. The movie has been topping the charts for more than a month now and it makes me think and hope that finally maybe the time is right, perhaps we're ready to change and become more evolved and aware of our responsibilities to each other and society," said Mix.
"The fact that mainstream media is rich in material on this topic is a good sign. We should take full advantage of books and organizations like these and fully participate in making life better and more meaningful for everyone with whom we come in contact. Plus, the Empower Program is fun. They came to our PTSA meeting in May and we enjoyed them so much that we didn't want them to leave."
Since that initial meeting, Jernigan has scheduled an actual Empower session which will be held on Monday June 7, at 7 p.m. at West Potomac High School. Sponsored by Legg Mason, the evening will be devoted to the West Potomac/Mount Vernon community and the youth in their lives. Shanterra McBride, Empower Master Trainer, will work with the students in groups, separately from parents and teachers.
This program will also offer opportunities for parents and teachers to learn how they can help work with young people to create safe and healthy communities. Program will be held in the Springbank Building of West Potomac High School. Spanish interpreters are being invited to help translate the program. Refreshments will be served.
ALSO SPEAKING AT that PTSA meeting was Colleen Duffy from Landmark Education. This center, which is located in Alexandria, puts on a course called the Landmark Forum for Teens (for ages 13 on up). The three-day education program helps teens examine their lives in a way that leaves them empowered. It gives them freedom to express themselves, courage to face life's challenges and power to invent new possibilities.
The next session to be held in this area is on June 25-27. For more information call 1-877-LANDMARK or visit their website, www.landmarkeducation.com.
Rounding out this meeting was a talk by Mark Pizo, history teacher at West Potomac. As a father with grown children, Pizo has seen first-hand the debilitating effects of drug and alcohol abuse. He spoke about Nar-Anon, a group that Pizo has found to be invaluable at helping families with addictions.
"As you see a situation developing, you don't have a checklist to go down," Pizo said. "You've got to do more than talking. The challenges are great. Don't forget about taking care of yourself and the rest of your family. It just eats at you [when your child does drugs], it's terrible. You feel guilty and think 'What did I do wrong,'" Pizo said.
Pizo said that there are millions of reasons people are addicted, but the important thing is to look for signs of drug use. He mentioned a couple of times the importance of dealing with issues while the students were still in school.
"Once a child turns 18, you don't have a lot of control. You have to act and act quickly," Pizo said.
THE FOLLOWING WEEK, there was another meeting at West Potomac. This one was a Drug Awareness Seminar led by Deborah Baretto, WPHS counselor and ATOD (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs) Liaison. As one of the ATOD liaisons, Baretto said that she attends periodic classes on drug and alcohol use given by Fairfax County. The seminar that she gave recently was one that she has given several times before.
"It's a bong show, geared for parents to inform them about what kids are using," Baretto said. "I bring pipes, bongs and over the counter (OTC) items."
Some of the OTC items include Corricidin and Robitussin. The most commonly used drugs are still alcohol, tobacco and marijuana. Some kids use inhalants and a few use the club drugs, like Ecstasy. Baretto educated parents about the services that are available in Fairfax County, including the Alcohol and Drug Youth Services (ADS) and the Inova Kellar Center.
Baretto returned the following week to moderate the panel portion of "Summer in the Suburbs." This educational forum, sponsored by Mount Vernon and West Potomac School-Community Coalitions, took place at the Bryant Center. A panel of six seniors moderated by Baretto answered questions about drug and alcohol use, peer pressure, parties, curfews and parental communication.
When asked how much alcohol is consumed by high school students, they said that at least 50 percent of the students drink. Maria Gonzalez said that she thinks at least 90 percent have at least tried it once. Panelists agreed that students drank mostly on weekends, but that there was some drinking and smoking marijuana at school. To their knowledge, not very many students do other drugs.
"Most teenagers are afraid of hard drugs," said Sade Kirby.
ASKED IF ALCOHOL was more prevalent in the upper grades, Kirby said that it was for their class, but it was also starting to show more for the students coming up in the lower grades. Several of the panelists said that they were surprised at what they were hearing from their younger brothers and sisters.
"Middle School has changed in five years. They're doing things we didn't even know about," said Hunter Peterson.
All of the panelists agreed that alcohol was very easy to get; marijuana even easier.
"It's hard not to know somebody who's a dealer," said Michael Rosenthal.
"A lot of alcohol is easier to get than before. There are lots of ways to get it," said Wilson Blakely. "It's going to be around; it's just a matter of whether or not you want to do it."
Peer pressure seemed to be way overrated, with most of the panelists agreeing that they do what they want, not what other people want them to do. "If you don't want to do it [drink], you can find a group of friends who don't," said Katie Meyer.
They also said that most of their decisions made were their own and not formed by their friends. They all agreed that their parents had a big influence on their lives. When it came to curfews, there was a big variance, anywhere from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m., although all said that they had some flexibility. The group agreed that cell phones were a good way to keep in touch. When asked if they would call their parents if they were in trouble, some said that they would while others said 'probably not.'
The panelists agreed that most parties had alcohol, even parties with parents in attendance. MPO Greg Kottemann, Crime Prevention Officer, addressed that issue when he and MPO Rick Cook discussed the policies and perspectives of keeping students safe. Kottemann said that anybody serving alcohol to minors is liable for them.
"I try to impress on them [the parents] that it's illegal. Adults will get charged for contributing to delinquency. You're doing yourself wrong if you're allowing that," Kottemann said.
He said that the SROs (Security Resource Officer) at Mount Vernon and West Potomac do their best to patrol the schools, but they can't be everywhere at once, so they rely on other students, bus drivers, teachers and the community to let them know what's going on.
MPO Greg Bender, Gang Coordinator, spoke about gangs in the area and distributed a handout with the symbols of the various gangs so that parents could be on the lookout for signs of gang activity. The evening ended with Kathleen Pablo, senior subschool principal at Mount Vernon, talking about cyberbullying and other issues.