It was the mole on her back that made a friend of Ashley Fister Cole, then Ashley Fister, nervous.
The year was 1999, and Fister and her boyfriend, Brian Cole, were trying to cool off from the oppressively hot summer day. Their friend had a Fourth of July party, and between dips in the pool and eating barbecue, Fister's friend casually suggested that the mole, the size of an oblong quarter, be removed.
Fister and Cole had noticed the mole earlier, but a doctor had told them to keep their eyes on it. When they went to the doctor again, Fister was diagnosed with melanoma, and the young woman, who hadn't yet turned 25, began the battle that would eventually consume her life.
"Because she exercised, maybe we were naive about it, but we never imagined she wouldn't be able to beat it," said Brian Cole, who became her husband in August 2000. "We were very hopeful. We never thought it would take her life."
Ashley Fister Cole, beloved wife, sister, daughter and friend, died from melanoma in October 2002. While her loved ones miss her presence, they hope the foundation that they started in her honor will allow memories of the cheerful young woman to thrive.
"The purpose ... is for us to share Ashley to those who never knew her," said Bryan Taylor, Ashley Cole's friend. "In essence, blessing their lives so they'll have the opportunity to know her secondhand."
Since the foundation's inception shortly after Ashley's death, her husband, mother and friends have volunteered their time to organize events such as the building of a courtyard habitat at Wakefield Forest Elementary School, where Ashley Cole had taught. All proceeds to charitable causes that advocate education, cancer support and research programs, and hospice care.
"We are keeping Ashley's spirit alive," said her mother, Judith Fister. "Through the works of the foundation, we hope to make some of her dreams come true."
BORN IN WASHINGTON STATE, Ashley Fister Cole and her family lived in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii before settling in the Mantua neighborhood of Fairfax when she was in elementary school. Ashley Cole loved music and enjoyed singing at W. T. Woodson High School, from which she graduated in 1992.
Although Ashley Cole earned a degree in communications from Marymount University in Arlington, she wanted to become an elementary school teacher. Shortly after she first became diagnosed with melanoma, she became in 2000 a third grade teacher's assistant at Armstrong Elementary while working towards a master's in education at the University of Virginia's Northern Virginia campus.
A mutual friend of Ashley and Brian told Brian Cole that he should meet Ashley, who turned out to live two blocks away from Brian Cole's brother in Arlington. When he met her, he fell in love with her personality, her beauty, and their shared interests. They discovered that they both liked to travel, and that they both enjoyed each other's company.
"Everything was great, even when she made fun of me on occasion," said Brian Cole.
While the cancerous mole on Ashley Cole's back initially perturbed them, Brian Cole proposed to Ashley in December 1999, as she was undergoing treatment. Several months later, on August 12, 2000, they married. She was 26, he was 30.
In January 2001, they heard the great news. Through treatment, Ashley Cole had become cancer-free. Thrilled by the prognosis, they started to plan their future together. They had already moved into their new home in Fairfax, but they knew they both wanted children one day. Their travels had them zigzagging across the United States, from Orlando and St. Augustine, Fla., to all up and down California, to New York City, Myrtle Beach, Willismburg and Maine.
Ashley Cole also moved from Armstrong Elementary to Wakefield Forest Elementary, where she became an afternoon kindergarten teacher's assistant. When she wasn't teaching or with her husband, she would exercise and work on her garden.
"She was a happy person, because even if she had a bad day, she would always find something to make the day better," said Taylor. "She would go the extra mile to do something for somebody. And she would do it without even being asked."
EVERYTHING SEEMED PERFECT, until February 2002, when Ashley Cole discovered a lump between her ribs while she was waiting for results from her annual cancer detection scan. A further test found that malignant tumors existed deep inside her chest cavity. The Coles tried one chemotherapy regimen, which didn't work and made her weak. They tried another one after consulting with melanoma specialists at the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. That one had her taking sometimes 30 pills in one day, but that regimen didn't work either. The last regimen also didn't work.
Throughout the failed regimens, she organized friends to fund-raise for marathons to support cancer research and participated with other young cancer survivors in a support group. She also freely talked with family and friends about her disease.
"I think it was healthy for her to talk about it," said Judith Fister. "She wanted to create a comfort level for her friends."
In July 2002, Taylor invited Ashley Cole and some of their mutual friends to a birthday celebration. They went to a bar, hung out, played pool, and had dinner. As they had just sat down to eat, Ashley Cole came back from the rest room, crying. She had to go to the hospital.
Taylor rushed her there, while contacting her family. Her husband Brian was in Florida on business but took the earliest flight home.
"For that whopping 20 minutes in the car, when we had a deep conversation, that's when I realized how serious it was," recalled Taylor, as his eyes started to glisten.
The cascade of events, although excruciating, occurred so quickly that the Coles couldn't catch their breaths. Despite the sudden downturn, Ashley Cole still managed to serve on her the 10-year high school reunion committee. She stayed at home to rest, but didn't become debilitated from the disease until the last few weeks of her life. Her friends and teachers from schools where she taught came by, and her grandmother taught her needlepoint.
The week before she died, when the pain was so bad and the evening seemed so dark and long, Brian Cole took her to a hospice center. On Oct. 8, 2002, at 5:30 p.m., Ashley Cole found peace, with her family and friends by her side. She was 28.
SEVERAL WEEKS AFTER HER DEATH, a friend of a manager at Brian Cole's company suggested that he create a foundation to keep his wife's memory alive. As he was researching how to start one, he decided that he should be the one running it, so all the proceeds could go to charities. With the help of an accountant friend, the nonprofit Ashley Fister Cole Foundation came into being.
The foundation's mission, 'to touch a life,' is a phrase from a paper Ashley Cole had written on why she wanted to become a teacher.
"To me, it's just so wonderful, because it allows me to continue to live in a way that remembers her," Brian Cole said.
Since its founding in late 2002, the foundation, whose board consists of close friends and family, has organized several activities. The first fund-raising event was a movie screening of "Finding Nemo," because Ashley Cole loved Disney movies and children. The foundation raised over $3,300, all of which will go to Life With Cancer, to establish a melanoma support group.
"There's so much misinformation," said Judith Fister.
The group also helped break ground for a courtyard habitat at Wakefield Forest Elementary, with the help of the school's PTA habitat coordinator, as well as organize runners for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life and the Susan G. Komen National Race for the Cure to support breast cancer research. In October 2003, the foundation hopes to have a golf tournament, with all proceeds going towards melanoma research.
"Ashley was my best friend, and I wanted to do anything that would do some good in her name," Taylor said.