Pleasant Valley's Pam Cave, 38, knows what it's like to be on welfare. Left to support her five children alone after being abandoned by her husband, she learned about the system — and its shortcomings — firsthand.
Frustrated with the law and realizing that it wasn't accessible to single parents left to fend for themselves, in May 1999 she obtained a law degree from D.C. Law School, passed the bar exam and became an attorney for parents who couldn't otherwise afford one.
Now she's published a book, "The Other Side of Welfare," telling her story and that of others who've struggled through the welfare system. It also offers welfare-reform ideas to policy-makers, social advocates, welfare workers and those needing their services.
"I wanted to have an opportunity to get some of the real information about the welfare system and child support — and what really goes on with those issues — to the general public and to legislators who could do something about it," said Cave. "It lets people see the other side of welfare — the side not usually portrayed in the media."
She's a single mother of five — Phillip, 15, and April, 14, are a Westfield High sophomore and freshman, respectively; Tricia, 13, is a Stone Middle eighth-grader; and Megan, 12, and Thomas, 9, attend sixth and fourth grades, respectively, at Virginia Run Elementary. And she practices family law — handling child-custody and support, divorce and abuse cases — for SRIS p.c. in Fairfax.
Cave wrote her book, beginning in winter 2001, at night after the children were asleep. She wrote it "to have credibility as an advocate and to have a voice in family-law issues — particularly matters of child support and things related to social services, such as welfare and Medicaid, where people don't have a lot of resources."
Published last November by Capital Books Inc., it gives practical advice on, for example, how to get food stamps and what's going on with child-support payments. It also discusses what life can be like after getting off the welfare system. It's available in bookstores, on amazon.com or at bn.com (Barnes & Noble).
The Lifetime TV channel's new magazine, "Lifetime for Women," will premiere in April and is featuring Cave's book in its first issue. She talked about it in November on MSNBC and will speak about it on "The O'Reilly Factor" when welfare reform is again a subject of national debate. And on Tuesday, Feb. 25, Dr. Laura Schlessinger chose it as her book of the week and discussed it on her national radio show.
"You really put yourself out there and take a risk [publishing a book]," said Cave. "But I think the information I have to share is important and might be able to help someone sitting in the position where I once sat."
Furthermore, she said, "It might open up legislators' eyes to this issue from another perspective and, if I can teach something to the people who make policies, it's also valuable. It might help legislators formulate policies that really work because, right now, the policies aren't working and the welfare rolls are going back up."
The book also contains lists of agencies people may contact for help. Hopefully, said Cave, "It'll prompt them to take action or, at least, think about things in a different way — and that's what I'm hoping to accomplish."
Besides going to her children's sporting events, Cave's on Fairfax County's Advisory Social Services Board and the county Department of Housing's Resident Advisory Council. She works with a nonprofit, homelessness-transition program and would like to someday be a juvenile and domestic relations court judge.