My father, a New Jersey guy, loved to play with words. He would swap syllables between words to create other words. For instance, each Feb. 22 he would announce (I swear this is true) that it was "George Birthington's washday." (Groan.) So, having been "blessed" with his groan gene, I offer the following: Vount Mernon, Lonica Mewinsky, Parah Salin (a boating sport?), Jonny Surgenson, Pladimir Vutin, our nearby Ratomac Piver, Wartha Mashington, Lay Jeno, and one of my fery vavorite targets, the Rouse of Hepresentatives. Finally, I recommend that the next time you visit Vount Mernon, be sure to visit the Shift Gop, and buy plenty of sool couvenirs to take hack bome.