Irene Coyne, 77, fills her days with activities, from crafting jewelry and knitting to volunteer work at a multitude of nonprofit organizations, such as Shepherd’s Center of Oakton-Vienna and Our Lady of Good Counsel Church. She even volunteers as an assistant at Culinaria Cooking School in Vienna.
“I try to measure my activities, distributing them throughout the week,” said Coyne. “I went from my mother’s house to my husband’s house, and, now, I am doing what most kids do on their own in their 20s for the first time. I’m starting all over again and loving it at 77.”
Coyne has lived alone for almost six years now. She sold her big Oakton home when it became too much to maintain while living alone and now lives in an Oakton condo.
“You get tired of paying people to do everything around the house,” said Coyne. “I tried mowing the grass myself and it took me two to three days to do it. By the time I was through, it needed to be cut again.”
There is a diverse age demographic in the condo community that Coyne now lives in, from young families with children to older residents, keeping her “young-at-heart.” She chose traditional housing over an over-50 community because, in senior communities, there are “too many old people,” she said.
“You live with many old people, it changes your attitude.”
HER FOUR KIDS and six grandchildren are scattered about the country; one daughter lives in Vienna. To visit her grandkids in Florida, Coyne drove by herself. It took her two days in each direction but she did it. Her craft group is one she has been active in for 30 years.
Coyne is aging-in-place as the social sphere refers to it, what is more-commonly referred to as living “independently,” outside the self-contained worlds of assisted living communities. To foster and support the execution of aging-in-place takes a village, as the saying goes. And the “Villages” model is what the Long Term Care Coordinating Council (LTCCC) of Fairfax County supports. LTCCC helps volunteers set up age-in-place supported communities – Villages - in their neighborhoods by providing them with guidance and technical support.
The guiding precept of the Village concept is neighbors helping neighbors, or seniors helping seniors as described in the mission of Shepherd Center groups across the nation. A referral network of service providers helps those living independently maintain their homes.
Villages help older adults age-in-place in their communities by helping to coordinate and deliver services and support within their communities. The nearest “Village” to Vienna is the McLean Community.
Folks, said Michelle Scott, director of Shepherd Center of Oakton-Vienna [SCOV], should be able to live in their homes for many reasons - familiar surroundings, to remain independent, stay connected to the community, be less of a burden on their families, and remain self-sufficient. Economically, many elderly may not be able to afford assisted-living facilities and aging-in-place --- living alone in their homes – may be their only recourse.
“Support programs like the Shepherd’s Center will be more important than ever to support activities of daily living, such as shopping, transportation, friendly visiting,” said Scott.
Sally Dorn, 83, lives in a Ballston apartment now. Like Coyne, she sold her big house and moved around since her husband died in 1994. Dorn is 83 and still drives, but admits she cannot walk long distances. “I used to jog, play tennis,” said Dorn. “Things I can’t do anymore.” A cleaning woman comes to Dorn’s home once a month to help with the big chores, such as cleaning the bathtub. “I can’t do that, anymore,” Dorn said. Nevertheless, she likes living alone and independently.
“I like the independence because I don’t like people telling me what to do.” Dorn admits she does not have much of a social life any longer although she has relatives living in the area. “Everyone I used to know is dead,” she said. Her grown children live on three continents --- in the U.S. in California, in Nicaragua and in England. She said she watches a lot of television --- once she viewed a marathon of “The Walking Dead.”
THE DORN FAMILY moved around a lot – living in places like Paris and Turkey for years - until her husband retired in 1992 and they moved to Northern Virginia. He died two years later and Dorn has lived alone since then. When the kids got out of school, Dorn found work with temp agencies doing office administrative work. As she aged alone, it made sense for her to move to a smaller place with less responsibility to maintain.
“I don’t have the stamina to come out to SCOV, anymore,” said Dorn.
Dorn’s son convinced her to get another dog. Now, Dorn’s life “revolves” around her new puppy. “I’ve been in prison ever since I got him,” she said, laughing.
“It’s hard to remember what you can do and what you can’t do anymore,” said Dorn.
Estelle McNeill, 89 1/2 years old and going strong, has been living on her own since being widowed four years ago. A Vienna resident for 60 years, McNeill lives in the same home she has always lived in --- a cul de sac subdivision house just a few blocks from the center of Vienna.
“I have a close circle of friends. I can look out my kitchen window and can see three blocks from there.”
McNeill still drives but she can walk into town if wants to. Physically, she feels as if she is in “pretty-good” condition.
McNeill said that when she and her husband moved into their Vienna house, she said, “This is it. I’m not moving again.”
SENIORS such as Coyne, Dorn, and McNeill remain active and part of the larger world beyond their home life. Living independently is a common ground they each value.
“What I miss the most is someone to share all the stuff, I do,” said Coyne, whose close friend passed away recently. “It’s hard finding someone to click with.”
Seniors helping seniors as in SCOV or in church groups provides both a social outlet, as well as a safety net. There are people – young and old – to check up on the elderly living independently and assist them when and where necessary.
McNeill said she loves living independently. “I get out of bed in the morning and everything, every day, is an adventure. You just have to have fun, you can be content.”
There are not many things that Dorn misses living alone but one of those things she does miss resonates with her peers. “I miss being younger.”
For information and details on Fairfax County resources for the aging population, focusing on the “Villages” model, go to http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/hd/ltccc/villages.htm
To learn more about community “Villages,” visit the Village to Village Network at www.vtvnetwork.org. For details on the McLean Community, go to www.mcva.weebly.com.