Arlington — Consider the plight of men and women released from Virginia prisons. They have satisfied their so-called debt to society.
A vast majority of them are without family, without friends, without any money and no chance for jobs.
Recently, a man finished 30 years of incarceration. A bus ticket took him to Arlington in late afternoon. Stepping off the vehicle, he was astounded by what he saw. Three decades of imprisonment left him in awe, panic and genuine fear.
Another case points to Mary Ulrich, a native born Virginian, now in her mid-40s, whose jail life began at age 12 when an uncle introduced her to drugs. Further family abuse from a brother in her teenage years led to a horrific lifestyle of physical and mental pain, drug abuse and incarceration.
There are hundreds of other similar stories. They aren’t pretty either. Fortunately this is where Arlington-based Offender Aid and Restoration (OAR) has stepped up and taken the lead.
People such as Geoffrey Gradler, his wife Rebecca and their church assist in the continuing work of OAR. The Gradlers are active in leadership and a study group at Cherrydale Baptist Church, not far from the Arlington Courthouse.
“Part of the (church) exercise was linking up with OAR to show time and love,” Gradler said. By participating with OAR clients, Gradler said, “We fed them, listened and helped them, if we knew how to.”
OAR has a 40-year record and the task grows greater every day. Next Wednesday, April 9, OAR’s “Second Chance” fundraising breakfast will be held from 7:45 - 9 a.m. at the Sheraton Pentagon City Hotel. The free breakfast features OAR clients, volunteers and community leaders.
THIS STORY is about how Ulrich, suffering from liver disease, and still on the road to recovery, has been re-introduced into the northern Virginia community.
The Gradlers “helped her get on her feet a bit” and she helped rehabilitate herself with an interest in flowers and plants.
Despite the fact her brother knocked out her teeth and broke her jaw, she is not bitter, according to Gradler.
Helping ex-offenders is not easy. The Gradlers and Cherrydale Baptist Church encouraged Ulrich to attend services regularly. She does but on an intermittent basis.
She had wondered if the Gradlers and church members would welcome her because of her homosexuality.
“She told us she was a lesbian but I didn’t care,” Gradler said. “Mary made it easy (for us). She’s a sweet lady, always nice. She feels like she owes her life to the Lord.”
From a life of drugs, jail, abuse and pain, finding friends and opportunities are more than difficult.
For over 18 months the Gradlers have been working with OAR, bringing numerous ex-offenders to their home for lunches and dinners, mostly for fun.
“People have come out of their shells,” he said. “It’s sort of crazy but really wonderful.”
The Gradlers try to “do practical things” with Ulrich and other OAR clients.
WHEN THEY FIRST invited Ulrich to their home she was treated to scones and espresso with Rebecca and two daughters.
“She had never seen a family together and how we enjoyed one another,” he said. Since then, she has received eyeglasses, a motorized scooter to help her travel around the community, had her teeth fixed, helped with her self-esteem and is attending community college.
The Gradlers arranged for an Arlington dentist to fix her teeth. “She wasn’t an average case,” Gradler said, and the doctor provided all of the services free of charge.
“We could have done nothing,” Gradler said. “She’s doing well and doesn’t want to go back to prison. There is a gap between need and what we can do.”
OAR and the Gradler family have found the way to help fill that gap.