Bruce Campbell stars as the fourth member of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force. This should be enough information for any fan of the television show to go out and see "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters" — from here on in known as "Colon." If you aren’t a fan of the show … well, this movie isn’t for you. Never has a film based on a television show so completely ignored people who haven’t seen the show.
"Colon" flies full-force into the non sequitur: make-no-sense, hilarious comedy of the show without introducing any of the characters, the premise or how anything is related. Of course, the show never really did any of that either but it’s been on long enough that if you’re a fan you know your stuff. For instance, everyone who watches the show knows that Frylock, the giant talking French fries, can shoot lasers from his eyes; thus when he Meatwad (childish talking meatball) and Master Shake (idiot talking milk shake) get attacked by a giant poodle in ancient Egypt at the beginning of the film, it’s no surprise that he uses his power — only to get burned alive by the fire-breathing poodle.
Did the above sentence make no sense whatsoever? Tough, because that is how the film opens and then continues. The team is then rescued by Abraham Lincoln in his Volkswagen Beetle convertible. The movie pretty much goes on like this with absolutely no narrative and full of absurd comedy, much like the television show always has.
So if you know the show and you enjoy its one of a kind brand of comedy then the only question left is "There is a fourth member?" The plot, if there is any, centers around how the Aqua Teen Hunger Force was created and the return of Dr. Weird! This is totally exciting for anyone who was around from the show’s inception and means nothing to anyone who wasn’t, much like the movie itself. So flashbacks do reveal a fourth member and that member is Bruce "don’t call me Ash from ‘Evil Dead’" Campbell, in the shape of a chicken nugget.
So there it is. Fire breathing poodles, Abraham Lincoln, talking fast food, ancient Egypt, and that is just the first five minutes — if you don’t count the hilarious opening with a heavy metal band made up of movie theater snacks. Then you get Bruce Campbell.
"Colon" has basically everything, except sense.
<1b>— Matthew Razak